An honest account of being a first time mum

Archive for April, 2012

Car parking spaces

With baby2011 around it’s hard to be lazy. He runs rings around me! Much to the delight of dad2011 he also runs rings around him but whilst kicking a football. Well I say football, football, rugby ball, the cat’s ball, the remote control, my mobile, a bit of rogue broccoli. He’ll kick anything. He’s football and kicking mad!

Now baby2011 doesn’t sleep so much. So when he does go to bed it’s hard to be lazy then. In the daytime I just do a rotation of the house, picking things up, tidying, making mental notes that baby2011 has put one of his shoes in the laundry basket and my keys in the cat’s bowl. I sometimes even manage to persuade him to sit in high chair with a bread stick or give him a pen to play with long enough to be able to show the side board a duster or the front room rug some shake and vac.

So you can’t be lazy, even if you wanted to.

I was never any good at being patient but having baby2011 has taught me that being impatient just makes situations more fraught.

Baby2011 went for a “phase” of about 2 weeks when he was about 10 months old when he would only eat cheerios. Beside myself with worry I served up cheerios about 4 times a day. Baby2011 ate the cheerios one by one. Each meal taking about an hour. Now if I didn’t have patience before that, this “phase” certainly trained me to chill out. Now the cheerios are with milk and go on a spoon, baby2011 is getting to grips with plastic cutlery. This is great but every spoonful of cheerios and milk goes over his shoulder before at best, one left on the spoon makes it into his mouth.

Patience is needed at every point with a baby. Meal times, in the car, when you’ve said “no, sit on your bottom” for the 50th time during lunch and they’re still trying to dive out of the high chair. You quickly learn to be patient or you just lose it.

And goodness you have to be strong to have a baby. Yes emotionally strong, physically strong to cope with labour and birth. But I’m talking strong enough to carry wiggling baby, packed to the brim changing bag, lunch box when weaning, and still find a free hand to lock the car or pick up the dummy that little one has just lobbed into the middle of the road.

So as mum2011, I have patience, I am stronger than ever before and any ability to be lazy is a distant dream.

So why do I not have the patience, why do I completely lose it, why do I want to throttle any moron that parks in a parent and child space when they 1. Do not have a child and 2. Have a child that is 19.

We do not need or want the space because we are lazy, we have established that mums cannot be lazy. We are also now strong and as balanced as donkeys when carrying all our mum and baby stuff, this is not why we need the space either.

We need the effing parent and child space because we physically cannot open the door wide enough to get our babies out of their car seats in a regular space!

This rant also goes out to jerks who, when we haven’t been able to get a parent and child space park so close to our car that even Kate moss would struggle to slip in the back seat. Baby on board sign and car seat in back are a giveaway maybe that we need to get into the car easily.

Sorry, reverse you say and then strap little angel in!? And what do we do with baby whilst we reverse? Sit him in trolley in pissing down rain whilst we try not to run him over? Whilst we watch others zip round car park within inches of him. I think not.

So jerks and morons, park in the normal spaces. Because I don’t have any patience for you.

*sighs, picks up cheerios and packs 3 bags for lunch outing whilst noticing the rain beating down*



Baby2011 turned one last week. I thought I might have a bit of a breakdown that my tiny newborn was one whole year old. But I held it together, we had a party and I even said a few words to his fans. I dealt with it brilliantly. This is because I am completely in denial! The number 1s on the front of all his beautiful cards don’t seem to be real. Really one whole year!?

I haven’t blogged for a while and this too is poignant. I obviously have not needed the crutch of my blog to deal with what motherhood has chucked at me over the last couple of months. I said yesterday to my lovely mum that I felt relaxed for the first time since I was heaving enormous bump round surrey and watching homes under the hammer with a bacon double cheeseburger. It’s getting easier. He’s sleeping deeper, can communicate better and his smile is infectious!

I was also talking my wonderful Sis in law about how we feel there is so much to do in our lives but we don’t know where to start. I’m talking as parents, professionals and socially. It’s like the first year of baby2011’s life, my life was his life. But as he grows more independent I get a teeny bit more of my life back.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Yes I joke about baby2011 being my tiny newborn and snuggling him up like a helpless teeny babe. He of course greets this with a poke in my eye or a kick in the boob. But i genuinely feel a pang of sadness, it physically hurts sometimes when he does something “grown up”. Drinking from his beaker without me helping, eating his food without my help. He can climb the stairs, and he only bloody went and started walking didn’t he!

Of course this is all brilliant and whilst I commend his development and burst at the seams with pride I want to rewind. I never cherished the feeding every 2 hours, the fact that I had to hold him so carefully when I bathed him, how he didn’t have teeth oh, and those tiny inoffensive poos!!!!

The whole year has been a whirlwind. Of worry, of stress, of hopelessness, elation, amazement, wonder, happiness and it’s been amazing. I cannot thank the world enough for bringing baby2011 into my life.

I have just got home after his one year weight and height check with the health visitor. I think back to my first post about attending the weighing clinic. What a difference a year makes. Yes I had to save the newborns from the balls and toys my beautiful baby2011 was literally lobbing across the waiting room. But I was also an old hand. My big mouth practically welcoming everyone to my clinic with their newborns and making friends with anyone who’d talk to me!

Baby2011 is at an amazing age now. I actually think this is my new favourite age for him. He’s learning, copying, dancing, walking, loving, arguing and his personality is shining brighter and brighter. He’s making his mark on the world. Watch out world, he’s an absolute cracker!