An honest account of being a first time mum

Archive for November, 2012

Guilty pleasures

Baby2011 is 18 months old now. My dishwasher is his favourite toy (tray pulls out and is sat in like a go cart). He can out run me when it comes to nappy change time or tooth brushing time and squeeze himself into the smallest space , wedging himself between our bed and the wall.

Baby2011 can also out shout me now, (a real feat if you know me!) This scares a lot of old biddies in Asda but stops him from grabbing hold of the odd toilet brush or pepperami. And I leave the place with a scrap of dignity in place.

baby2011 finds pleasure in every situation (yes at the cost of my nervous system but this is good for him!). So as a parent what pleasures do we have?

Of course the bundle of joy we being into our lives, changing things forever is of course a pleasure (sense a sprinkle of sarcasm here folks!)

But I’m thinking of other stuff. Stuff that is like secret patent stuff. Things you wouldn’t have done in life before children. Guilty pleasures if you like.

And surprisingly with a child that evades sleep like Victoria Beckham evades carbs I have quite a few guilty pleasures. Or things and time I feel I’m owed…

Here goes with the list of mummy guilty pleasures:

1. Eating left over fish fingers/cheesy pasta/mash/sausages/fromage frais from child’s plate
2. Letting child fall asleep on sofa cuddling you. Then kicking back to watch this morning, made in Chelsea, nigelissima!
3. Picking up jokes from Justin’s house
4. Hating Sarah Jane on Tikkabilla
5. Secretly fancying mr bloom on Cbeebies
6. Tuning in to watch the lingo show because you want to
7. Looking out the window, seeing rain and deciding that this means having to stay in doors, eat bread and butter and absolutely not get dressed
8. Macdonalds happy meals
9. Child screaming when charity rep knocks on door at 7pm
10. Child grabbing chocolate bar/pair of socks/nice top/ deepest sympathy card from the shops and not realising until you get back to the car…
11. Jumping on the bed and wrestling for 20 minutes each morning
12. Making a cup of tea whilst child is bellowing on naughty step