An honest account of being a first time mum

Posts tagged ‘mother’


Baby2011 turned one last week. I thought I might have a bit of a breakdown that my tiny newborn was one whole year old. But I held it together, we had a party and I even said a few words to his fans. I dealt with it brilliantly. This is because I am completely in denial! The number 1s on the front of all his beautiful cards don’t seem to be real. Really one whole year!?

I haven’t blogged for a while and this too is poignant. I obviously have not needed the crutch of my blog to deal with what motherhood has chucked at me over the last couple of months. I said yesterday to my lovely mum that I felt relaxed for the first time since I was heaving enormous bump round surrey and watching homes under the hammer with a bacon double cheeseburger. It’s getting easier. He’s sleeping deeper, can communicate better and his smile is infectious!

I was also talking my wonderful Sis in law about how we feel there is so much to do in our lives but we don’t know where to start. I’m talking as parents, professionals and socially. It’s like the first year of baby2011’s life, my life was his life. But as he grows more independent I get a teeny bit more of my life back.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. Yes I joke about baby2011 being my tiny newborn and snuggling him up like a helpless teeny babe. He of course greets this with a poke in my eye or a kick in the boob. But i genuinely feel a pang of sadness, it physically hurts sometimes when he does something “grown up”. Drinking from his beaker without me helping, eating his food without my help. He can climb the stairs, and he only bloody went and started walking didn’t he!

Of course this is all brilliant and whilst I commend his development and burst at the seams with pride I want to rewind. I never cherished the feeding every 2 hours, the fact that I had to hold him so carefully when I bathed him, how he didn’t have teeth oh, and those tiny inoffensive poos!!!!

The whole year has been a whirlwind. Of worry, of stress, of hopelessness, elation, amazement, wonder, happiness and it’s been amazing. I cannot thank the world enough for bringing baby2011 into my life.

I have just got home after his one year weight and height check with the health visitor. I think back to my first post about attending the weighing clinic. What a difference a year makes. Yes I had to save the newborns from the balls and toys my beautiful baby2011 was literally lobbing across the waiting room. But I was also an old hand. My big mouth practically welcoming everyone to my clinic with their newborns and making friends with anyone who’d talk to me!

Baby2011 is at an amazing age now. I actually think this is my new favourite age for him. He’s learning, copying, dancing, walking, loving, arguing and his personality is shining brighter and brighter. He’s making his mark on the world. Watch out world, he’s an absolute cracker!